It’s a question I’ve asked myself multiple times in recent years, as my college career draws to an end: Am I supposed to be a freelancer? Because it’s such a popular path now, the word “freelancer” still had connotations in my mind of a traditional career industry—meaning I needed relative experience and knowledge to actually give myself the title.
But as I was making my website and looking back on all the creative work I've done in the past few years, I slowly realized that it wasn't too far off from what other freelancers do. I jump from one creative project to the next. I write, but across a variety of genres and mediums. I also do social media, photography, editing, visual media, and even "modeling" or "styling" (unofficially and definitely not professionally, but off the record, what else would you call posing for photos with your own outfits?). I even dabble in performance arts like theatre and music, which made up most of my childhood artistic portfolio. In short, in trying nearly everything to do with the arts, I've inadvertently become a freelancer. I'm not tied to one company. My resume is filled with short projects or little jobs in a variety of areas here and there. I've never worked for longer than a year in one place.
So what does that have to do with my personality?
My school got me obsessed with personality tests. Mind you, before attending a tiny private Christian university of roughly 6000 students, I still loved taking personality quizzes. It confirmed things about me that I wasn't sure about myself. It told me what to do (instructions are my boundless limitation, the perfect sandbox for me to play and defy my own rules) and who I was, in a very general sense. I know I've been an ENFJ since freshman year. I know I'm an Enneagram 7w6 (or 6w7, still a little confused about that one). I know my top VIA Institute strength is Honesty. When you're in college trying to figure everything out, it's comforting to at least be able to say these certain things as almost-facts about yourself. These personality tests and their definitive, bordered answers gave me a kind of assurance. A peace that I knew at least this much about who I was.
My Enneagram is what I think contributes most to my understanding of myself as a freelancer. I'm an unexpected type 7 (as well as an unexpected extrovert, for most people). This means my greatest value in life is enjoyment and pleasure in the highest quality of things. My vice is gluttony (guilty), and it can trip me up by getting in the way of forming genuine relationships or self-reflection. In short, as a 7, my love for superficial things of this world can overshadow my deeper love for Christ and the community that He has given me. I personally think 7's have the highest danger of falling into materialism and wanderlust syndrome. My love (almost addiction) to travel, food, and shopping definitely comes from my 7-ness. But so does my sporadic personality. I'm a person of many passions, and would rather dabble in a variety of different fields than get stuck in a rut in one place. This often clashes with my goal of wanting to perfect or master a skill, to be able to call myself a "pro" in one thing.
I don't think my personality or my accidental freelance "career" necessarily stemmed from each other. Rather, I think my life experience (growing up in multiple places, jumping around from culture to culture, exploring various interests) shaped both. A friend told me that maybe I'm not looking to be a freelancer, but to find that one company or job that offers me the excitement and challenges of a continuously changing, fast-paced array of creative projects. Freelancing, however, can be a great tool to help market myself and gain experience in different fields in the meantime. The job hunt is still on. Artists have to pay the rent somehow. I hope all my fellow creatives—writers, musicians, stylists, actors—can understand the struggle. We're all floating around as kind-of freelancers in a way. Searching for that one gig that'll break us into the industry. For me, I hope this uncertainty and movement helps me focus on God and my growing relationship with Christ more. To rely on His guidance and His windy path where I don't quite know the next step. In a way, maybe all of us believers are freelancers in life.
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